Faded

Hazy memories, faded faces.

Has it ever happened to you, that you thought “Oh I am never going to forget this in my entire life”, and then couple of weeks/months/years down the lane, something that someone said or bought or did, triggers that memory you had sworn you wouldn’t forget? But it is faded now. You remember a few details but the picture is hazy, and the face you thought you would never stop loving/hating is in the picture, but Faded .

I don’t know about you, but this happens to me damn too often :-/ I am a person of extremes – either I love hard, or I hate hard. There is no in-between, and that doesn’t mean I don’t do impersonal or friendly – work teaches you to be professional, but that is that. In my personal life, I am this “OMG I love SRK” / “OMG I hate Salman Khan” person. My friends can vouch for this, hell hath no fury like me scorned!!! My mom has spent precious hours of her life hearing me rant about someone or the other – that friend who forgot my birthday, that relative who was unnecessarily snarky, that bug in code that just wouldn’t resolve, and so on and so forth, till she tells me, exasperated, to go do something else, and let her do something else, like watch “Naagin” (I am kidding, if my mom ever watched that lousy piece of shit, my dad would disconnect the dish, so yeah no “Naagin” )

So many times it happens, the things/people who meant the world to me at a point of time, just..fade. Friends whose betrayals hurt like hell (by betrayal I mean finding a boyfriend to hang out with in college, obviously), are just names in my Facebook friends’ list, whose pre-wedding/wedding/honeymoon/karvachauth/anniversary pictures flood my feed, whom I politely “Like” and “Love”, and I move on, doing more interesting things and mildly remembering the “outrage” I felt when they first fell in love with the guy they eventually married and started “ignoring” me.

Or that one time, when I worked too hard for making my college fest a success, and now all I remember is the smiles I had and the laughter I shared with my friends, some of whom are for life now. Or that one time when I didn’t win a position in a debate competition at school and I was heartbroken because, well, I was and still am, a sore loser.

Or those days when I chased love, just like a moth attracted to fire, only to get burnt in the end. And now all I remember are faded faces I was madly in love with, but no heartache, no anger, just..nothing.

So if  you ask me what have I learnt all this while, the past 27 years of my life, ranting and raving about everything I or others do or say, is that something got to be ignored. So every time I get pissed about something or moved by something, I ask myself ,“Is this going to matter in another 5 years?” Since the answer is hardly “Yes”, I try to let it go, over a glass of water (or wine, whatever is available), and some sound sleep. And usually, the morning after consists of faded memories of last night.

Featured Image : 3rd Perspective Photography

 

 

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Author: sanjeet.kathuria89@gmail.com

Blogger, avid reader and a home cook. A software engineer on weekdays and a dancer on the weekends. Yoga and coloring are the new flavors of my life. I love spending my time doing things that add meaning to my life, and that includes my beauty sleep as well! :D My weekends are often busier than my weekdays, for I enjoy trying out new things to do and new places to check out, but I always have time for an interesting conversation :)

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