Small Wins

This seemingly random picture ( no filters by the way) of my left hand has a very interesting significance. And I am going to go ahead and bore you with my musings. 😀
In 2011, I joined Masters in Engineering in a prestigious University. As a graduate engineer, I knew shit (Thank you, laziness and Indian Education System). I struggled through the lectures and lab hours in MS, and my lack of confidence led me to develop the most disgusting habit ever – nail biting. I love putting nailpaint, but my ugly habit made sure that my nails were never in a good enough shape.
Time passed by. I graduated MS with a great score, got a good job with a respectable company.  But the nail-biting did not go away. It creeped its head each time I was stressed, and by the time I would realize, the damage was done.
I tried to stop. I made resolutions, even contemplated putting little chilli powder on my nails! My mom lost her cool each time she saw me biting nails, and kept asking me, “What is wrong with you?” Each time I went for a manicure, the beautician told me “Grow your nails no, they will look so graceful.” But to no avail.
It was not till yesterday that I noticed my nails. They looked, pretty for a change. The cuticles seem okay too. In last year, I did almost reach this length, but for some reason couldn’t sustain.
My long nails, though insignificant, gave me food for thought. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, during our attempts to achieve perfection, that we forget to celebrate the small wins. That jeans you couldn’t fit into, is loose for you now. That parantha you have been trying to nail for some time, came out as well as your mum’s. Or the nails are finally long.
There will always be new goals to work towards. No one is perfect. But don’t forget to give yourself a pat on your back every once in a while, for acknowledging the efforts you put in for your self improvement. Even if the right hand is still not up to speed with the left 😛

A new beginning

0130 hours in the morning. Raindrops splattering over the tree-tops. A looming Sunday, a dirty house. What else do you need to complete the picture of a confused soul, wandering in the dark alleys of her unbidden thoughts, wiping the cobwebs of her past?

They say human being is very resilient – we underestimate our own adaptability till we have no choice but to adapt. We overestimate feelings – as our very own Joey Tribbiani puts it, “They are just feelings..they will go away”. And they do, in their own sweet time.

Some things are more important than others – dreams are more important than remorse over past. Sometimes you have to pick yourself and move on, hoping for bigger and better things. And hope, is a good thing.

People come, change for worse, and go. Or maybe they were always like that, but it took you some time to figure that out. Till then, it was already late. The storm was here, and it took with it everything existing, leaving nothing but wreckage of an raged mind and violated heart. But here is a thing about storms, once they are over, there is peace all around. There is introspection, and assessment of damage. Practicality kicks in, and imperative decisions are taken. Thoughts that have always been lurking around, take up center stage, and the emergency services move in – family and true friends.

The aftermath of a storm results in clear skies, and clear priorities. And it has encouraged this writer to be brave enough to begin afresh. The first post of 2015, that symbolizes a new beginning of the rest of her life.

Thoughts? Share in the comments section below!